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The Power of Discord Book Cover

The Power of Discord

Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust

Now Available!

About the Book

You might think that perfect harmony is the defining characteristic of healthy relationships, but the truth is that human interactions are messy, complicated, and confusing. And according to renowned psychologist Ed Tronick and pediatrician Claudia Gold, that is not only OK, it is actually crucial to our social and emotional development. In The Power of Discord, they show how working through the inevitable dissonance of human connection is the path to better relationships with romantic partners, family, friends, and colleagues.

Dr. Tronick was one of the first researchers to show that babies are profoundly affected by their parents’ emotions and behavior via “The Still-Face Experiment.” His work, which brought about a foundational shift in our understanding of human development, shows that our highly evolved sense of self makes us separate, yet our survival depends on connection. And so we approximate, iteratively learning about one another’s desires and intentions, and gaining confidence in the process as we correct the mistakes and misunderstandings that arise.

Working through the volley of mismatch and repair in everyday life helps us form deep, lasting, trusting relationships, resilience in times of stress and trauma, and a solid sense of self in the world. Drawing on Dr. Tronick’s research and Dr. Gold’s clinical experience, The Power of Discord is a refreshing and original look at our ability to relate to others and to ourselves.

Praise for the Book

"In this fabulous book, which everyone must own, Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold give all of us a scientifically-based compass for negotiating the messiness of social interaction. Rather than searching for perfection, in this book they teach us that it is the messiness and the mistakes we inevitably make as parents, friends, and lovers, and the repair of our mistakes that really matters. For in repair we "co-create a new meaning," and relationships thrive and proceed, full of life and good enough. Get this book!"
John Gottman
Author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
“This profoundly wise book sets out how the dance of connection and disconnection with attachment figures molds our nervous system, our emotional lives, our sense of self, and our ability to dance in tune with others. When we miss each other is when we truly learn to turn, reach, and connect. There are no slick tips for perfect relationships with your kids or lovers here. Just a deep understanding of how the imperfections of life and love can make us strong.”
Sue Johnson
Author of Hold Me Tight
The Power of Discord Book Cover
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